I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I understand Curling. That high.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize