so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
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