I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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