That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
