I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Randomize
