Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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