If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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