I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
