Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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