The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
