508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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