at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
