Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
