So drunk its hurt
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
