I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
