Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
