He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Pants are for mortals
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize