Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
