this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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