I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize