champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
