Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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