u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
