they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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