I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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