is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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