So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i just google imaged poop.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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