remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
