so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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