I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
