I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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