Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
