That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
