the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
