Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
