I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
