There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
In the future we'll all be gay
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
