The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
