You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize