So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I need a burrito and a hug.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
