There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
