Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
