spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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