Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
