You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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