I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm jealous of your bromance
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
