i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
