Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My breasts were aching with rage.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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