at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
