is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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