There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
