it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
