were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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