Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I am available for nakedness
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
