It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Boobs speak an international language.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
