Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
