Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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