My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
