Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
