I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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