quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
