I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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