Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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