So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
