So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Damn victory sex feels great
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
