everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
