I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize