Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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