i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
