Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
