Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
