Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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