If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i dont even know how to be here
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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