She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
i think my cat just said my name.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Randomize