Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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