Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
